by viewing this website, scrolling this page, or breathing while aware of this website's existence, you agree to the following terms.
1. DEFINITIONS. "you" means you. "we" means me. "the service" means this website. "{{TARGET}}" means {{TARGET}}, a person to whom all of this is addressed, who has wronged me in ways I am under no obligation to specify.
2. LICENSE. you are granted a revocable, non-transferrable, single-use license to read the contents of this site silently. reading aloud is prohibited.
3. FORBIDDEN USES. you may not:
4. WARRANTIES. this site is provided "as is" and also "as mad." no warranty is made that this site will be functional, accurate, grammatical, or in any way helpful.
5. INDEMNIFICATION. you agree to indemnify flemlord against any loss, claim, or mild inconvenience arising from {{TARGET}}'s actions, should you ever encounter them.
6. GOVERNING LAW. these terms are governed by the laws of vibes. jurisdiction: my apartment.
7. {{TARGET}} IS BANNED. {{TARGET}} is prohibited from accessing this site. if you are {{TARGET}}, close this tab. this is a legal instruction. (it isn't.)
8. MODIFICATIONS. we reserve the right to modify these terms at any time, retroactively, without notice, and in bad faith.
9. ACCEPTANCE. continued viewing constitutes acceptance. closing this tab also constitutes acceptance. there is no way to reject these terms. sorry.
last updated: whenever. next update: probably never.
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