PSALMS OF FLEMLORD

PSALM 1

  blessed is the one
  who does not hold the door halfway
  who does not say "literally"
  who does not own a leaf blower

  woe to {{TARGET}}
  who does all three
  on a tuesday
  in front of me

PSALM 23 (REMIX)

  the wifi is my shepherd; i shall not stream.
  it maketh me reload the page.
  it leadeth me beside the spinning pinwheel.
  it restoreth my patience, and then it taketh it again.
  yea, though i walk through the valley of buffering,
  i shall fear no ad,
  for {{TARGET}} is with me;
  their very existence comforts me by giving me something to be mad at.

PSALM 88

  out of the depths i cry unto thee, ISP
  hear my voice.
  let thine ears be attentive
  to the voice of my support ticket.
  for there is much complaint with me.
  and my router is, again, unplugged.
  and {{TARGET}} is, somewhere, smiling.

PSALM 150 (the final one)

  praise the HTML in its most crude form.
  praise the <marquee> tag, deprecated but defiant.
  praise the <blink>, which still blinks in our hearts.
  praise the table layout, noble and functional.
  praise the bgcolor attribute, bold and direct.
  let every browser that can render, render.
  praise ye flemlord.