these are the funeral arrangements i have tentatively drafted for {{TARGET}}. they are still alive. this is forward-thinking planning. nothing more.
SERVICE DETAILS | |
| Location: | the deli. where it all happened. see lore. |
| Date: | TBD. very TBD. possibly never. doesn't matter. the plans exist. that's the point. |
| Dress Code: | smart casual. no plain bagels worn as accessories. |
| Eulogy delivered by: | flemlord (by default; no one else volunteered; this is a problem for another day) |
| Music: | the midi from the shrine, played on loop, at the wrong tempo. |
| Reception: | plain bagels. toasted. a final irony. |
we are gathered here today to remember {{TARGET}}. a person. who lived. among us. for a while. and bothered me. considerably.
{{TARGET}} was, in many ways, a person. they had a name. they had a face. they had a preferred bagel order (plain). they had opinions they shared freely, often, and at full volume on public transit.
they will be remembered for these things. and for the 9-minute deli incident. and for the door. we all know the one.
do they rest in peace? i don't know. that's above my pay grade. but i, personally, am resting slightly better.
thank you. please help yourselves to the bagels.
this page is for emotional processing purposes only. i am not actively planning anything. please do not forward this to anyone.
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