THE FLEMLORD MANIFESTO (v0.3 draft)


PREAMBLE

we, the aggrieved, the mildly inconvenienced, the guys-who-had-to-wait-an-extra-minute-for-the-bus, hereby declare:

ARTICLE I: {{TARGET}}

{{TARGET}} shall, under no circumstances, be permitted to speak in group settings larger than two (2) people. this includes but is not limited to: brunch, meetings, funerals.

ARTICLE II: THE LINE

if you do not know your order when you reach the counter you forfeit the right to order. you go home. you eat cereal. you think about what you've done.

ARTICLE III: SIDEWALK GEOMETRY

three people walking abreast on a sidewalk meant for two is a CRIME. it is a CRIME. {{TARGET}} does this. on PURPOSE.

ARTICLE IV: THE DOOR

hold it. you SAW me. don't pretend. i SAW you SEE me.

ARTICLE V: FINAL WARNING

if any of the above articles are violated, the offender shall be named on this website. this is the only consequence i can legally offer. it is enough.


SIGNED,
FLEMLORD


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